Big Time Changes
by Baxxie
Summary: After some terrible news, one of the boys seems to go through some unexpected changes. The other guys are in shock and have a difficult time dealing with this new side of their best friend. Can they pull him out again?
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1 Midnight phone calls

It's the middle of the night and everyone in apartment 2J is sound asleep. Suddenly a phone rings in the distance. Jennifer Knight is the first to wake up from the sound. She gets out of bed, puts on her robe and hurries down the stairs. She picks up the cordless phone.

In another bedroom are four more sleeping figures, all sprawled out over their beds. Soft snoring can be heard from two of the figures. Slowly their door creeps open.

Jennifer Knight walks towards one of the beds, gently shaking the sleeping figure.

"No, mommy, I don't want to go to sleep.." Jennifer tries not to chuckle at the mumbling coming from the helmet-wearing boy.

"Carlos, sweetie, wake up." She tries again and gently shakes him again. He moans slightly before turning towards her and squinting his eyes open.

"Was going on?" He slurs, sitting up a little.

"Honey, you're mom is on the phone for you." He looks confused, but grabs the phone out of her hands.

"Maybe you should take it in the living room." He looks around, realizing everyone is still asleep and walks out.

"Hey mom, what's going on?" His voice fades into the background as Jennifer stays sitting on his bed. She takes deep breath and eyes the living room with great concern.

"Mom? What are you doing here?" She looks up to see her son looking down at her form the top bunk.

"Nothing, sweetie, just go to sleep."

"Where's Carlos?"

"He's on the phone with his mother."

"His mother? But it's like 3AM right now. Is everything okay?"

"Yes, it's just the time difference. I think she may have just forgotten."

"Mom? What's going on?"

"Nothing, Kendall. Just go back to sleep." She says as she tries not to cry. Kendall has noticed however and rushes off his bunk.

"Mom?" He asks again. She looks at him, realizing he won't let it go.

"Carlos' dad got shot tonight." His eyes go wide.

"Is he okay?" Jennifer just shakes her head.

"No, sweetie. He didn't make it…"

"Oh my god… Poor Carlos…"

"What about Carlos?" James yawns from his bunk a little too loudly, making Logan shoot up and hit his head on the ceiling.

"Ouch."

"Whoops, sorry Logan. But seriously, what's wrong with Carlos?"

"His dad got shot."

"What? Are you serious?"

"Yeah, he's on the phone with his mom right now."

"But he's okay, right?"

"He didn't make it, guys." Everyone is silent for a moment.

"Wow… poor Carlos… I hope he's okay..."

Just at that moment Carlos walks back into the bedroom. Everyone stares at him in silence, not really knowing what to say. He walks towards his bed and hands the phone back to Mrs. Knight.

"Thanks for the phone, Mrs. Knight." He quietly says.

"Honey, I'm so sorry. Is there anything I can do?"

"No, I'm fine, thank you."

"Carlos? Do you want to talk about it?" Kendall asks.

"What's there to talk about? My dad died, the funeral will be held in a week."

"Carlos.." Logan starts.

"I'm fine, alright? Now can I just go back to sleep?" He asks, an angry tone in his voice.

"Uh, yeah, of course. I'll just be in my room if you need anything. I mean it Carlos, if there's anything, just come and find me, alright?"

"Thanks, Mrs. Knight, but that won't be necessary." He tells her as he lies back down in his bed, his back facing the room.

Mrs. Knight opens her mouth to say something else, but she decides against it and walks out.

"We're really sorry about your dad, Carlos. He was a good guy." James says, but Carlos doesn't respond. "Carlos? Are you still awake?" But he is met by silence again. He gives up and lies back down himself. The other guys follow his example, but the exchange a worried look with each other. Tomorrow they'll sort this out.

Carlos just lies there, staring at the wall, his arms crossed. He waits until soft snores take over the silence, before sitting up a little. He reaches for his helmet and takes it off his head slowly. He looks at it for a second, before dropping it into the trashcan next to his bed. He lies back down, back to facing the wall once again.

Silence fills the room once again, but now all his friends lie awake as well. Their minds filled with worry as they all witnessed their best friend let go of the one thing he never seemed to go without.

The next morning the three boys find carlos' bed empty. They share worried glances and run inside the apartment. Then they stop suddenly, seeing Carlos happily eating at their dining table. Kendall shares a glance with his mother, who just shrugs. Katie sits at the table, eating some cereal, but is really staring at Carlos as well.

The guys head towards the table and sit down as well.

"Hey, Carlos. You're up early."

"I'm always up early." He just announces and continues to eat.

"Sure, no, that's true. We just thought, maybe you'd want to sleep a little longer today." James tells him.

"Why would I want to do that? Look outside. It's sunny and amazing, I just want to go and stay outside all day long." He says with a big smile.

The boys share another look.

"So, what are we going to do today?" James asks to change the subject.

"We're going to the studio for rehearsal, remember?" Kendall tells him.

"Seriously? Today?" James replies, shooting a look towards Carlos.

"You know what? You're right. We should just call Gustavo and tell him we can't we be there today. I'm sure he'll understand."

"Why wouldn't we be able to be there?" Carlos suddenly asks.

"Uh, because… because we could use a day off. I mean, we've all been pretty tired lately, so… a day off might work." Logan suggests. The others nod while smiling.

"Hm. Okay." Carlos says with a shrug. "Oeh, that means I can go hang out at the pool today!" He says with a big smile.

"Uh, I was thinking maybe we could just watch a movie together and you know, hang out." James suggests.

"But the weather is so nice today. I am heading to the pool." Carlos says again as he gets up and puts his bowl into the sink.

"Watch a movie?" Kendall asks James.

"Well, that way we could at least talk to Carlos alone. I mean, he's acting weird."

"No, he's acting normal."

"Guys, he's just in denial. It's normal when someone close to you dies, you go through several stages of grief. The first one is denial." Logan explains.

"So what can we do?"

"All we can do right now is just help him through it by acting as normal as possible."

"Okay, I think we can do that." Kendall says and James nods in agreement.

After a while of rushing, they are all dressed in their swimming trunks and a shirt as they start to head outside. They head for the four lounge chairs they always sit on, but suddenly find one occupied.

"Oh, great, now we can't all sit together." James whines.

"I'll handle this." Carlos suddenly announces, walking over to the guy lying on the bed. He is listening to music and bopping his head to the beat with his eyes closed. The other guys look on curiously at hat Carlos will do.

"Hey, buddy!" he shouts. The guy doesn't respond. To their shock, Carlos just pulls his earplugs out of his ears, making the guy look at him in surprise.

"What the.."

"You're in our chair." He responds coldly, with his arms crossed over his chest.

"Uh, excuse me?" The guy asks.

"You're in. Our chair." Carlos replies slowly.

"Uh, Carlos, it's fine. I'll just go swimming." Kendall tells him. But Carlos isn't listening anymore.

"Get up." He orders.

"Look, I don't see your name on here. I live here too, so I can lay in this chair if I want to." The guy angrily says back, before closing his eyes and putting his earplugs back in.

The guys look on in shock as they see Carlos' hands turn to fists.

"Carlos, what are you doing?" James asks, but again his friend doesn't listen.

Carlos walks towards the guy, roughly pulls his earplugs out. He then proceeds to pull on the plugs until the music player comes with it. He grabs it and throws it awa as hard as he can.

"Dude, I paid for that with my own money. I worked hard for it!" The guy shouts at him.

"Get. Up." He hisses at the guy.

"No. You owe me a new iPod." The guy states as he crosses his arms now too while lying down.

"Okay. If that's the way you want it." Carlos says with a smile as he turns towards his friends. They breathe a sigh of relief and smile too.

But suddenly everything seems to go in slow motion as Carlos turns around, screams and grabs the guy's shirt. He puts all his strength into it as he pulls the guy upwards, out of the chair and then throws him into the pool full force.

The guys stand looking with their mouths open in shock at the guy spluttering in the pool. They look at their friend who has now gone to sit in the chair. He has a big smile on his face and happily pats the two chairs beside him.

The guys look around and put up a small smile for Carlos just to make sure he doesn't freak out. They put up their hands and mouth sorry to all the Palmwoods friends who are staring and whispering in shock.

Then their looks go back to their friend, who is now just grinning widely with the sunglasses he just put on, acting like nothing ever happened.

Oh boy…

_No, this is not the angst story I mentioned that I would be putting up after Big Time Bonding. There is plenty of drama though and I just love the idea of it._

_I hope you like it as well, just let me know what you think._

_I'll soon start posting chapters for my angst story as well. I have two ideas for that actually, but I'll write one at a time ;)_

_Anyways, thanks for reading and until next time _

_Love, Baxxie_


	2. Chapter 2 Futile Conversations

Chapter 2 Futile Conversations

In the evening all the guys are found sitting at the dining table. Nobody knows what to say; it's been that way since the incident at the pool the day before.

Carlos is eating the fish sticks Mrs. Knight made them, while the other guys just share glances with each other. They're all mentally arguing who should be the one to start talking. Mrs. Knight and Katie can feel the tension in the room, but have decided to stay quiet.

"Okay, enough with this." Kendall starts, making everyone look at him. "Carlos, we want to talk to you about what happened at the pool."

Carlos stops eating for a moment to look at Kendall, before gong back to eating again.

"Carlos, didn't you hear what I said?"

"Sure, I heard you. What's there to talk about?"

"What's there to talk about? What's there to talk about?" Kendall says, getting a little angry and standing up. But James puts a hand on his shoulder, making him sit back down. He shakes his head at him.

"Carlos, we're just concerned about you." Logan calmly says.

"You don't need to be concerned, I'm fine." He says, while still eating.

"No you're not. Carlos, your dad died last night. I know it's hard to deal with, but we're all here for you if you want to talk or cry." Suddenly Carlos stops eating, throws his fork down and stands up.

"Look, I said it once and I'll say it again. I am fine. If you really want to know how you can help me, here's how; back off!" He angrily says before walking to his bedroom.

"It's not good to keep things bottled up like this. You can't just ignore what happened." Logan argues after following his friend.

"Who says I'm ignoring it?"

"Well, you're not dealing with it."

"You mean I'm not dealing with it the way you want me to."

"I didn't say that…" Logan continues, but Carlos interrupts him.

"But that's what you mean. You think I should be sitting in a corner somewhere crying my eyes out. Well, maybe I don't feel like doing that. Maybe I just want to act normal."

"Normal? You threw someone into the pool because he was sitting in one of our chairs!" Kendall puts in. Mrs. Knight and Katie's eyes grow wide at hearing this.

"Hey! I asked nicely and he wouldn't budge."

"You didn't ask him nicely, you ordered him to get up and pulled out his earplugs." Kendall says as he walks closer to Carlos.

"Well, I think it's rude when you listen to music when someone is talking to you." Carlos respond as he stands right in front of Kendall, making him walk backwards a little.

"So you threw his music player away?"

"It got his attention, didn't it?"

"Guys.." Logan starts, trying to get them to back off of each other.

"We could have used other chairs."

"I didn't want to use other chairs."

"Guys, this isn't helping." Logan says again.

"Shut up, Logan." They both shout in unison.

"What if it was a girl sitting in the chair. Would you have thrown her into the pool?"

"Why not? If she didn't move on her own."

"God, this is so ridiculous. You're not like this, Carlos. You're not a violent person. The only reason you're acting like this is because you're mad about your dad dying." James suddenly intervenes. "And that's okay, we understand that. But don't take it out on other people. Just come and talk to us. We're your friends, we can help you go through this."

"Wow. So you're a shrink now? I thought only Logan wanted to tell me how to feel." Carlos replies. James sighs.

"Why are you doing this? Why are you pushing us away? Do you want to start a fight? You need us right now, Carlos. We just want to help you."

"I don't need your help. I'm fine, perfectly fine!"

"Then where's your helmet, huh? Or did you not throw it into the trash can last night?"

"What I do with my helmet is my business, James. So leave it alone."

"Is it because your dad gave it to you?"

"Stop talking about my dad!"

"No, we have to do this. You need to hear this. Your dad was killed, Carlos. He's not coming back. Now, if you want to be mad about that, that's fine. I'll get you a pillow to throw or take you to a boxing rink or the hockey rink so you can let it go. But stop fighting us. We are going to help you get through this, if you want to or not." James tells his friend, holding him by the shoulders.

"Okay. Can I go to my bedroom now?" Carlos calmly asks, but they can see his hands are still balled up into fists.

James sighs again. "I… yeah, of course." He says and lets go.

"Thank you." Carlos calmly says again, before walking into his bedroom and throwing the door closed with a loud SLAM!. The guys wince at this.

"This isn't going to be easy, is it?" James asks, running a hand through his hair.

"No, it's not. But we're not giving up on him. He can fight us all he wants, we'll stay right here. He knows that. We just need to give him some time." Logan tells him, putting an arm around his tall friend's shoulder. James just nods sadly.

Logan walks back to the table, where Kendall is now slowly eating again in silence. He walks up behind him and without warning slaps him in the back of the head.

"Ouch, what was that for?" He complains, rubbing his head.

"That was for actually responding to him. We're supposed to make him feel better, not get into a fight with him."

"Well, he didn't exactly respond well to your psychology mumbo-jumbo either."

"At least I wasn't practically begging him to punch me."

"Guys, just stop. Us fighting isn't helping anything. Let's just finish eating and tomorrow we can try again." James suggests. The other two just exchange looks, but go back to eating.

That night, Carlos doesn't come out of his room. The guys spend time watching a movie, but they keep sending worried glances towards the other bedroom door.

"You know what, I don't feel like finishing the movie. I'm going to bed." James announces as he stands up. The other guys nod, but don't follow right away. "Night."

"Night, James."

He carefully opens the door and walks into the room. He isn't surprised to find Carlos lying on his back on the bed, staring at the ceiling.

"You missed a great movie, you know." He is only met by silence. "Okay. Uh, hey, maybe we can go play some ice-hockey tomorrow. That's always a good way to let off some steam, huh?" he says with a smile. But Carlos doesn't respond.

"Okay, I guess you don't want to talk right now. That's fine, you don't have to. I don't want to make you do anything you don't want to. Tell you what, tomorrow, you can decide what we can do. Just you and me, you can choose whatever you want. What do you say?"

He is met by a loud sigh and Carlos turning his back to him. "Oh, you really don't want to talk. I'll just leave you alone then. If you do want to talk, just let me know. Even if it's the middle of the night, I won't mind. Well, goodnight I guess." He says, sighing himself before lying down in his own bed. His eyes remain open. He doesn't even notice the time passing until the other guys suddenly walk in.

"Let's just talk about it tomorrow." Kendall whispers. Logan nods and they both very quietly start to change into their pajamas and slide into bed.

"You guys don't need to be so quiet. We're both awake." The guys both jump at James' voice.

"Dude, you scared me half to death. How come you're not sleeping?" Kendall asks him.

"Don't know. Just can't seem to fall asleep."

"Carlos, you're awake too?" Logan asks.

"Oh, he's awake. He's just not talking to us." James replies, sounding a little annoyed.

"Oh. Well, just remember we have to be at the studio at 8 tomorrow." Kendall tells them.

"Okay. Goodnight, guys." James starts.

"Goodnight James, goodnight Kendall. Goodnight, Carlos." Logan tries, but is once again met by silence.

"Whatever man. Goodnight James, goodnight Logan. And Carlos, I put your helmet into the closet if you need it again. Goodnight." Kendall says, sounding a little angry.

The room is filled with silence once again, but just like the night before, nobody sleeps a wink.

_Just to explain, I know there are five stages of grief. But in this story, Carlos will not go through all of them, as you may have noticed. This story also won't be as long as some of my other stories. But I hope you enjoy it nonetheless._

_Thanks for the reviews and favorite alerts and until next time!_

_Love, Baxxie_


	3. Chapter 3 Shattered

Chapter 3 Shattered

The next morning James wakes up after finally falling asleep about two hours before. He stretches lazily and looks at his alarm clock. His eyes grow wide and he lets out a shriek. He jumps out of bed and bounces over to the other sleeping figures in the room.

"Wake up, we overslept! Wake up!" He yells, slowly waking up Logan and Kendall, who groggily look at him, rubbing the sleep from their eyes.

"Whas going on?" Kendall lazily asks.

"We overslept, Kendall, that's what's happening. Now get up, we have to be at the studio in ten minutes!" James yells again, while jumping around, trying to put his pants on.

Kendall quickly rushes from his bed as well and pulls Logan's blankets off, as he still looks confused.

"Come on, Logan, get dressed."

Logan tumbles out of bed and nearly topples over as Kendall throws his pants into his face.

"Come on, Carlos, wake.. Oh. I guess one of us already woke up." Kendall says with a confused look. James looks at the empty bed and gets a frustrated, angry look on his face and heads out of the room, while still putting a shirt on.

The other guys hastily rush after him after exchanging a look of worry.

"Uh, James…" Logan calls after him.

James angrily rushes over to Carlos, who is just putting him empty plate in the sink.

"Why didn't you wake us up?" James asks with an angry tone. Carlos just looks at him and turns away. James grabs him by the shoulder and turns him around. "Hey, I asked you a question!" Carlos glares at the hand on his shoulder.

"You all looked so peaceful, I didn't want to wake you." He replies with some distaste.

"You knew we had to be at the studio at 8. You should have woken us up!" Carlos just shrugs out of James' grasp and heads for the door.

"We should go, we're already late." He says over his shoulder. James goes to grab him, but Kendall and Logan quickly hold him back.

"Come on, James, let's just go. You know how Gustavo gets when we're late." Logan tells him calmly.

"Yeah, and whose fault is that?" James quietly tells them, still angry.

Their car ride is silent with James still glaring at Carlos and Carlos staring out of the window, ignoring all of them. The other two just feel like they're right in the middle. It was so strange how they all seemed to get sucked into Carlos' bad moods whenever he had one. It really proved to them how he really does bring in the light in their friendship.

As soon as they arrive at the studio, Carlos rushes out of the car, nearly slamming the door in James' face. This only fuels his anger as he heads after him.

"Oh, this is going to be a fun rehearsal." Logan sarcastically shares with Kendall.

"Oh yeah…" Kendall agrees.

They both get out and head into the studio, where they can already hear Gustavo yelling.

"Oh, great, now that all the dogs have finally arrived, let me ask you a question; why are you late?" he screams at them. Logan and Kendall wince, but Carlos and James don't move a muscle. Kelly can now feel the tension and exchanges glances with Logan and Kendall. Hey just shake their heads, signaling her not to ask.

"We overslept, because a certain someone didn't wake us up in time." James hisses, glancing at Carlos at the 'certain someone' part.

"Well, maybe if you'd set your own alarm clock, you would have woken up all by yourself." Carlos shoots back.

"I didn't hear it go off! And since you were the first to wake up, you should have woken up the rest of us."

"It's not my job to wake you up, James. I'm not your dad!"

"Hey! At least I still have a…" He stops as he almost says something he might regret.

"Go on, James. Why don't you finish that sentence? You know you want to." Carlos tells him as he walks closer to him, getting in his face.

"No, I don't. I just think you could have woken us up. That's what we do, because we're friends? We've always done it when you overslept."

"Whatever, James. At least you got some sleep."

"Dogs! Heal!" Gustavo's voice suddenly booms through. "I didn't ask you to come here so you could fight. I gave you the day off yesterday because of.. what happened. Carlos, I just want to say.. sorry for.." Kelly nudges him. "Sorry about your dad." He finally sputters out. Kelly gives Carlos a sympathetic smile.

"We really are sorry. I know how close you were to him."

Carlos just nods and turns to his friends. "You told them? Is that really why we had the day off yesterday?"

"Carlos, we just thought you needed some time.. I still think you shouldn't be here right now!" Kendall tells his friend.

"I can't believe you guys lied to me." He says with a look of utter betrayal.

"Carlos, we were just looking out for you. I'm not sure why we're here right now either. I mean, you need time to deal with this." Logan tells him in a concerned voice.

"I think you shouldn't even be here in LA right now." Carlos looks confused. "You should be in Minnesota with your family." James suggests.

"I don't need time to deal with anything and I don't want to go to Minnesota! Over there, people will just be sad and cry and I just want things to stay the way they are! Now can we please start rehearsal?" He asks Gustavo, ignoring all the protests behind him.

Gustavo just looks dumbfounded. One of the dogs actually wanted to rehearse? "Uh, yeah, of course. Mr. X is here. He wants to teach you some new dance moves."

"Great, thanks Gustavo." Carlos tells him and heads towards the dance studio. The other guys stare after him.

"Okay, things can't go on like this. We need to do something." Kendall suggests.

"What do you mean? I thinks he's doing great. He actually wants to practice dancing, which is better than I can say for you dogs." Gustavo tells them, wincing when Kelly smacks his arm.

"The boys are right, this isn't healthy. He shouldn't be here right now. His dad died two days ago and he's acting like everything is fine. I think he's trying to throw himself into work so he doesn't have to think about it. We need to put a stop to it before it gets out of hand." Kelly suggests. The guys nod.

"And what are we supposed to do about it?" Gustavo asks her.

"You are going to give him time off. Meaning, you're going to send him home."

"But he actually wants to rehearse! None of them have ever wanted to rehearse. Do you know how huge this is?"

"Move it!" She yells at him, giving him the evil eye. Gustavo quickly hurries out of the room.

The guys and Kelly slowly follow and head for the dance studio. CRASH! They stop mid-step, when they hear crashing and glass shattering coming from the dance studio.

"What do you mean I have to go home?" Carlos screams. "I came here to rehearse, Gustavo. You can't make me leave, I want to dance!"

"Aah, not my awards.. don't throw those!" Gustavo's voice pleads. The others quickly rush inside and gasp.

In the studio, Carlos is throwing everything in his sights around. They quickly duck as a vase is hurled at their heads.

"Whoa.. Carlos! Carlos, stop!" Kendall yells as the three guys try to get to him without being hit in the head on the way.

"Carlos, don't throw that!" James yells, seeing him pick up a microphone stand and holding it over his head, ready to throw it.

"You did this, didn't you? You convinced them I need time off, didn't you? You're unbelievable." He says, shaking his head, but still holding the microphone stand in the air. "I thought you were my friends. I thought you were here to help me!"

"We are, Carlos. That's why we need to do this. You're not being yourself." Logan tries to convince him.

"You don't care about me… You're just trying to ruin everything for me." He says, finally lowering the microphone stand, making the guys sigh with relief.

"No, Carlos, we do care about you. You're our brother.. We just want you to be okay." Kendall tells him, slowly stepping closer. They all back up when Carlos grabs the mic stand as a bat, ready to swing it. "Carlos, what are you doing? Put it down!"

"You guys are really something, you know that?" He says with an eerie grin. "You're all lying to me and you actually think I believe you."

"What are you talking about?" James asks with confusion.

"Quit messing with my head, James. You know what I'm talking about. You say you care, when you really don't. I'll bet you even lied to me about my dad, didn't you?" He says, laughing strangely.

"Carlos, we haven't lied to you about anything.."

"You even got my mom involved, that was clever." He chuckles.

"Carlos…"

"But honestly? I didn't think it was that funny. In fact, I'm a little pissed off!" He scrams the last part as he swings the mic stand around and hits it full swing into the dance mirror, making it shatter into little pieces. The other guys put up their arms for cover as the glass hits the ground all around them.

After a short moment, they slowly drop their arms and look around with wide eyes. A large piece of the mirror is completely shattered. At the base stands Carlos, who looks at the damage while breathing heavily. He suddenly lets the mic stand fall out of his hands, making it clatter on the floor. He then turns around and rushes out the door.

James wants to go after him, but Kendall stops him.

Carlos just runs out the door, not even looking where he's going. He just keeps on running. After a while, he finally stumbles on an expected destination. He looks up at the entrance sign of the Palmwoods, before rushing through the door.

"Oh, hey, Carlos.." Camille greets him, but looks confused when he brushes past her towards the staircase. The elevator would take too long.

"To hell with them. I don't need them. Stupid liars… friends, pfft. They're not friends. They're just stupid liars!"

He angrily pushes open the door of their apartment, ignoring the concerned looks of Katie and Mrs. Knight who get up from the couch when they see him barge in. He heads straight for the bedroom, slamming the door closed behind him.

"Come on, guys, we need to hurry." James says in a worried tone as he and the other guys sit in the car, which is heading for Palmwoods. They knew exactly where he went. They always did.

"Calm down, James. He'll be fine." Kendall tries to assure him.

They figured he just needed some time. But James convinced the other two they needed to go after him. If he could do this to the dance studio, what would happen if he was by himself? Maybe he'd even hurt himself. The others quickly agreed that he was right. They needed to go after him.

The second the entrance sign of the Palmwoods came into sight, James jumped out of the car, even when it had barely stopped.

"James, wait up!" Kendall yells after his friend, who has already headed inside the lobby. Logan and Kendall hurry inside as well.

"I can't believe they would treat me like this… I know I pull pranks, but to get me back like this? It's just not right…" His dad isn't dead. He's fine. Maybe he's even in all of this. So cruel…

Carlos throws everything around in he bedroom, looking for one simple object. He opens the closet and begins to throw everything behind him. He cheers as he finally finds the object he was looking for. In his hands he holds a picture frame, inside it a picture of his dad at the beach with himself hoisted onto his shoulders, grinning like crazy. He smiles. He gets lost in the moment, until his phone starts to ring.

"Hello?"

"Carlos? Where the hell are you?" His brother's voice suddenly yells through the speaker.

"Hey Anthony! How are you?"

"How am I? How do you think I am? I'm here in Minnesota trying to comfort mom, which is what you should be doing, too. Please tell me you're on your way?"

"Why would mom need comforting?"

"uh, I don't know. Maybe because dad died two days ago?"

"Anthony, you can stop now. I know it's all a joke. I have to say, I really don't think it's funny. But I guess I deserved a big prank, huh?" he says with a chuckle.

"Are you kidding me? You think this is a prank? Carlos, dad is dead! They shot him in the heart, killing him on the spot!"

"Okay, easy, you don't need to use all gory details. I already got it, again, not funny." He hears a oud sigh on the other side of the phone.

"Just stop… stop it! This isn't a joke!" His brother yells, now sobbing loudly. "Dad died.. I saw him. They made me identify him… I never even got to say goodbye… He was just lying there on the slab.." Carlos goes to sit down as he hears the sobs.

"No, it's not true. Dad is fine. I know he is, you're all lying to me.."

"Why would we lie, Carlos? Why would anyone joke about this.. You have to come home… Mom is a wreck. She keeps asking for you.. She needs you… We all do…"

"Wow, you guys are really not letting up are you?" He says, laughing again, but his voice wavers.

"Please just come home, Carlos.. Dad would have wanted you here." His brother quietly says while still sobbing, before hanging up.

Carlos looks at his phone in silence, his breathing becoming heavier, before throwing the phone at the wall, shattering it completely. He looks at the picture he was holding, before getting ready to throw that at the wall too. But then another object catches his eye. He angrily goes to grab it.

Meanwhile downstairs at Palmwoods, the guys are running around, asking everyone if they saw Carlos. They thought about the apartment, but they remembered that Carlos doesn't usually go there when he's upset He heads for the park, or the pool or sometimes, the well.

"Oh, Camille! Have you seen Car…" Logan asks her, but his sentence is interrupted by a large shattering sound. They all look up and see the window of their apartment shattering as an object comes flying out. A guy in the pool quickly jumps out of the way as the object nearly hits him. The guys share very worried looks when they recognize the object as Carlos' helmet…

_Yes, Carlos is throwing and breaking a lot of things. This story won't last very much longer as the news is hitting hard. We all know you need to hit rock bottom before getting better. He's almost there, but not quite._

_I hope you like reading this story, for some reason I'm having a little bit of difficulty writing lately. I hope it's not a writer's block. I really want to start my BTR angst story soon._

_Anyway, thanks for reading and hopefully more people review _

_Until next time!_

_Love, Baxxie_


	4. Chapter 4 Finally

Chapter 4 Finally

The guys rush inside the apartment, where Mrs. Knight and Katie are already standing at the bedroom door, pounding on it. They look up, scared looks on their faces as they see the other boys. The two step out of the way to give the boys room to take over.

"Carlos?" Kendall yells as he tries to open the door. Locked. "Carlos, open the door!"

The only response heard is more stuff being thrown around and then a loud thud on the wall. The guys share worried glances and pound harder on the door.

"Carlos? Carlos, please open the door!" Logan yells.

"Stand back, guys, I'll handle this." James suddenly announces from next to them. The other two look at him with raised eyebrows when they see Carlos' helmet on his head.

"Uh, James, are you sure you should be doing that?" Kendall asks him.

"Yeah, I mean, what about your hair? You'll get helmet-hair." Logan warns him.

"Desperate times call for desperate measures." James says as he gets ready to crash down the door. With one loud scream, James launches himself at the door, nearly breaking it off its hinges as it flies open.

Logan and Kendall quickly hurry inside and gasp at the destruction that took place in their bedroom. There are some holes in the walls, clothes strewn everywhere. The doors of Carlos' closet lay half broken on the floor, along with a shattered picture frame. Kendall picks it up and his heart nearly breaks as he sees the picture of Carlos and his dad inside.

He looks over his shoulder and sees Logan picking a dizzy James off the floor. He walks over to them, handing the picture to Logan. He takes it and shakes his head.

"Uh, guys? Where is he?" James asks, making the guys look around in confusion.

"Carlos?"

"Guys." Logan quietly tells them as he stares behind one of the turned over bunk beds. The others look in the same direction and find Carlos sitting in a corner, holding his arm to his chest, his eyes wide. They sigh and head over to him.

"No, stay back!" Carlos yells out and the guys ease up, but they keep walking.

"Easy, Carlos. We just want to help you." Kendall tells him.

"I got your helmet back from the pool." James tells him with a smile.

"Keep that thing away from me!" Carlos yells in anger and tries to smack the offensive object out of James' hands. But then he cries out in pain and cradles his hand to his chest again.

"What happened to your hand?" Logan asks, rushing to his side.

"Don't touch me."

"Just let me take a look." Logan calmly says, before gently grabbing his arm. Carlos hisses, but lets him pull up his sleeve. "Can you move it?"

Carlos tries to move it, tries to put his hand into a fist, but cries out in pain again.

Logan winces. "Yeah, it may be broken. But you'll need x-rays to be sure. What did you do to it?"

Carlos just shrugs. The guys slowly go to sit down next to him. For a moment no one says anything.

"Carlos…" Kendall starts, when Carlos sighs loudly.

"I don't want to talk." He mutters.

"Carlos, we should go let a doctor take a look at that hand." Logan suggests.

"I'm fine."

"Carlos.."

"I said I'm fine!" he yells as he gets up and stands in front of them. "You guys really need to stop asking if I'm okay, because I am fine!"

"Look around, dude." James tells him, standing up and pointing at all the mess around them. "You did all of this by yourself and you say you're fine?"

"I just got frustrated, alright?" He says and starts to walk towards the door. The guys start to follow him, when he turns around. "Just leave me alone!"

Carlos walks through the living room, where Mrs. Knight and Katie stare after him with worried looks. Katie then suddenly stands up and stands in front of the front door, preventing Carlos from leaving.

"Katie, what are you doing?" he asks her and tries to get past, but she won't budge.

"I'm not leaving until you talk to us." She tells him, crossing her arms.

"Talk about what? There is nothing to talk about!"

"Look, we all know you. You keep saying you're fine, but we know you're not. It hurts to lose someone and it's okay to let go." She tells him, slowly walking closer to him.

"I don't need to let go of anything.." He says, slightly backing up.

"Sweetie, you just lost your dad. You don't need to stay strong for us." Mrs. Knight says with a motherly tone, putting a hand on his shoulder. He tenses up immediately.

The guys are quietly standing behind them, looking at the situation from a distance.

"I-I'm not trying to stay strong.." Carlos says, his voice starting to shake slightly as he looks at the ground.

"Honey, it's okay. We're right here for you." Mrs. Knight says, putting a hand under his chin and making him look at her. Her heart breaks at the distress she sees in his eyes. He tries to walks away again, when suddenly he freezes.

His breathing becomes heavier as he looks down. There's Katie, with her arms pulled tightly around his body. Her whole body is affectionately wrapped around his. He stands in the living room, too shocked to move. But his breathing becomes worse as his body slightly starts to tremble.

"Please let go…" He nearly whispers. The others can hear the waiver in his voice.

James is the first to walk up and follow Katie's example, by wrapping his arms around Carlos from the back.

"Please don't.. just stop…" He pleads, but it's hardly audible anymore. Very soon two more sets of arms wrap around his sides. He trembles more and more when tears finally fill up his eyes and he can't hold it in any longer.

Everyone holds on tightly and Mrs. Knight watches with her hand covering her mouth as Carlos finally breaks down. He can't hold on as he lets his body slide to the floor, the others sliding down with him as he wails and tears flow down freely. They silently cry with him and are soon joined by Mrs. Knight, who kisses his forehead and hugs him as well.

They stay in this position for what seems like forever, until his sobbing finally subsides. They slowly let go as Carlos tries to catch his breath and still sniffles. They all wipe their eyes and silently look at their friend, who manages to put on a small smile, one they haven't seen for a while. They smile back at him.

"I guess you guys were right, huh? I guess I really did need to let go." He quietly says, looking at his hands.

"It's okay, Carlos. Everyone deals with grief in a different way." Logan suggests. Carlos just nods.

"I did break a lot of stuff, though. You think Gustavo is mad at me?" He asks in a childlike voice.

"When isn't he angry?" the guys chuckle as James says this and puts an arm around his friends shoulders. "Besides, I think he's more scared of you than mad."

"I'm really sorry, guys." He says, his voice breaking slightly once again.

"Don't be, Carlos. It's alright, we still love ya." Kendall says, ruffling his hair. Carlos smiles a little, before hugging with all three of them.

"And thank you, Katie." He softly says, looking at his little sister, who has quietly been sitting next to him. He pulls her into a tight hug.

"Don't mention it. Just don't do that again." She warns him sternly after pulling away from him and standing up. Carlos smiles.

The guys slowly stand up and pull Carlos up with them.

"Well, I guess I should call my mom. She's probably worried sick." James pats him on the back.

"It'll be okay. We'll book the tickets and start packing. Let us know if you need anything." He tells his friend as the three guys head into their bedroom.

"But remember; we are going to the hospital to check your hand first." Logan calls from the bedroom.

Carlos just chuckles and nods before sighing deeply and pulling out his cell phone, dialing a familiar number.

"Hey, mom." He softly says. "Yeah, I'm okay. I'll be home as soon as I can…"

Mrs. Knight smiles and kisses her daughter on the forehead as Carlos keeps talking to his mother.

_Three days later…_

The boys of Big Time Rush have gathered at Carlos' house for Mr. Garcia's funeral. All are dressed in black suits and ties as they watch the different family members looking grim.

The three friends stand around, looking nervous with their hands in their pockets. None of them really know what to say, what can you say in a situation like this. Their eyes light up as they finally see Carlos coming down the stairs.

He looks exhausted, his eyes red and puffy. It's clear to see he's been crying again. He tightly has his hand wrapped around the smaller hand of his sister, Abigail. She looks scared as she holds his hand. He whispers something to her, she nods slowly and reluctantly lets go of his hand, walking towards the kitchen.

Carlos lets out a deep breath, before noticing his friends. His eyes light up immediately and he heads over to them. They all hug him.

"hey, man. How you holding up?" Kendall asks him. He shrugs.

"I'm okay, I guess. Just feeling a little awkward with all these people here." They nod in understanding. They stand around a little, before they notice people heading outside. The guys watch as they notice Carlos' breath quickening.

"Are you alright?" James quietly asks him.

"I don't think I can do this." Carlos says, sounding nervous.

"Carlos, I know this is hard, but just remember, we'll be right there with you." Kendall tells him.

"They asked me to say something about him." Carlos tells his friends, looking scared. "It's not that I don't want to… but it's so hard…" He says, his voice breaking again.

The guys quickly envelop him in another embrace.

"You're going to do fine, Carlos. We're here for you. If you feel like you're going to break down, just look behind you and we'll be there." Logan says in the embrace.

"I don't want to say goodbye to him…" He says in a whisper as tears begin to fall once more.

"It's okay, Carlitos, it's okay…" James soothingly says as the group of friends stands in the hallway, not noticing anyone else around them.

_A few hours later…_

Carlos stands in front of the headstone made for his father with his hands in his pockets. He just stares with dried up tears on his cheeks. He's done with crying.

"Carlos?" Logan's hesitant voice comes from behind him. He looks back and sees all three of his friends looking at him with worried glances.

"I'm okay, guys. I just wanted some time alone with him." He says with a slight smile. The guys come to stand next to him.

"It's a nice headstone." James says, before mentally smacking himself. But to his surprise, Carlos starts to laugh. Pretty soon all four guys are crying until tears fall down their cheeks.

"That was the most awkward comment ever." Carlos says as he wipes away his tears. The others just nod as they too calm down. "Thanks, James. I needed that."

"You're welcome. I think." James says with raised eyebrows.

"Let's go home, guys. I bet my family's already worried about me." Carlos says as he puts his arms around his friend's shoulders.

"If you mean them driving around town, yelling your name and calling us every five minutes to ask if we've heard anything, then yeah. I say they are worried." Kendall says with a grin.

They start walking, before James stops suddenly.

"Oh, wait! Before I forget." Carlos looks confused when James pulls an object out of thin air. He grins when he sees the black hockey helmet in his friend's hands. He does look a little scared, though.

"Don't worry, James. I won't throw it out anymore." James relaxes and gently places the helmet on his friend's head.

Carlos looks back just once. "Goodbye, dad." He whispers and smiles as he swears he can see his dad standing there watching him. A goofy grin plastered on his face as he wears his police uniform and then slaps his helmet twice. He nods at his son and he smiles back, nodding as well.

"Carlos?" Kendall asks, looking a little worried. Carlos just shakes his head.

"Let's go home." He says, before breaking loose from his friend's shoulders. "Race you to the car!" He yells and starts to run. His friends roll their eyes, but quickly it's replaced with a grin as they start to run after the loveable goofball they all missed so much.

_I know, it's so soon. But I did say this story wouldn't last long. There's only so much emotion someone can throw out there, before breaking down._

_Anyway, I hope you all liked it. I liked writing it and want to thank you for your reviews and alerts. Sorry if I don't always reply to reviews, I just don't really know what to say. So here again, a big thank you to everyone who reviewed, you keep us writers going _

_Until next time!_

_Love, Baxxie_


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